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How to Keep the I.T. Guy Happy...

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  • How to Keep the I.T. Guy Happy...

    When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

    Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

    When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

    When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

    When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

    When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

    Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

    When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

    When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

    When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

    When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

    When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

    When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

    Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

    Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

    Maybe I sould post this under the "Help" section... LOL
    Mastiya

  • #2
    [LoL] Everyone loves a sailor

    By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
    "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."
    "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past.
    I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
    "No problem," the tired Navy man assured him. "I'll take it."
    The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
    "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.
    "Never better."
    The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?"
    "Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Navy guy.
    "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
    "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained.
    "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
    Mastiya

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    • #3
      Catholics Over Coffee

      Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

      The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest,
      when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

      The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he
      walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

      The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he
      enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

      The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he
      walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

      Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence,
      the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

      She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast,
      24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My
      God."
      Mastiya

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      • #4
        Best Blond Joke Ever

        *A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
        "Please come over here and help me..*
        *I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,
        And I can't figure out how to get started."
        Her boyfriend asks,
        "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
        The blonde says, "According to the picture *
        *On the box, it's a rooster."
        Her boyfriend decides to go over and *
        *Help with the puzzle.
        She lets him in and shows him where she *
        *Has the puzzle spread all over the table.
        He studies the pieces for a moment, *
        *Then looks at the box, *
        *Then turns to her and says,
        "First of all, no matter what we do, *
        *We're not going to be able to assemble *
        *These pieces into anything *
        *Resembling a rooster."
        He takes her hand and says, "Second, *
        *I want you to relax. *
        *Let's have a nice cold drink, and then, *
        *"he said with a deep sigh..........** **
        **(scroll down)*






        *"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."*
        Mastiya

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        • #5
          How to confuse an idiot



          IT really works
          Mastiya

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          • #6
            LOL @ funmasti's last post

            Got me lol.
            Jut a random internet person.

            A message to all illegal users!

            Comment


            • #7
              Rep for funmasti!

              Comment


              • #8
                +1 for your rep...... if i was able to.


                they should allow ALL registered users not just licence holders give rep. i mean whats the diff between that and reporting a post as spam etc...?

                Comment

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