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How he has the nerve!

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  • How he has the nerve!

    Hey all,

    My Dad sent me a christmas card yesturday, I don't know how he has the nerve. My Dad has 3 kids ( two to the same mother and one different ), he's never ones come and seen me. He's allways at their house. He allways goes to see his other sons but he never comes to see me.

    I have asperger's syndrome as many of you probally know. The thing is, he doesn't want anything to do with me as I have this disability. I heard him one day. "I don't want a son with a Fu*&"! disabiliy!" thats what he said on the phone to his friend. Anyway. I opened the card it had £20 inside. I took the £20 and ripped up the card. I was not giong to take this £20, I went down to my local shop and put the £20 in the charity box. The reason I did this was becuase, I don't want to buy anything what will let me think about him. I also did this because there are much people with a worser disability than me.

    (I have been in and out of foster homes since I was 7 year old. My Dad used to come home and beat up my Mum and me. Eventually my Mum couldn't take it anymore so she committed suicide. After my Mum died, all my Dad used to say to me was "She died because of you, she couldn't take it because you kept on up setting her all the time with your fu&3*£ up brian. Now I have found a stable family to live in I am much happier now)

    I just don't know why he sent me this card. He spends about £160 + on his other sons. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

    Sorry about that bad spelling. I was rushing!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Ritterz
    Hey all,

    My Dad sent me a christmas card yesturday, I don't know how he has the nerve. My Dad has 3 kids ( two to the same mother and one different ), he's never ones come and seen me. He's allways at their house. He allways goes to see his other sons but he never comes to see me.

    I have asperger's syndrome as many of you probally know. The thing is, he doesn't want anything to do with me as I have this disability. I heard him one day. "I don't want a son with a Fu*&"! disabiliy!" thats what he said on the phone to his friend. Anyway. I opened the card it had £20 inside. I took the £20 and ripped up the card. I was not giong to take this £20, I went down to my local shop and put the £20 in the charity box. The reason I did this was becuase, I don't want to buy anything what will let me think about him. I also did this because there are much people with a worser disability than me.

    (I have been in and out of foster homes since I was 7 year old. My Dad used to come home and beat up my Mum and me. Eventually my Mum couldn't take it anymore so she committed suicide. After my Mum died, all my Dad used to say to me was "She died because of you, she couldn't take it because you kept on up setting her all the time with your fu&3*£ up brian. Now I have found a stable family to live in I am much happier now)

    I just don't know why he sent me this card. He spends about £160 + on his other sons. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

    Sorry about that bad spelling. I was rushing!
    Whoa man, I'm sorry to hear that.
    I truly admire you to have got through all that bullsh*t.

    Great to hear you gave the money to charity -- that's what Christmas is about.

    Anyway, sorry to hear of your misfortune, and have a merry Christmas. Glad to hear you're much happier now.

    Also, try not to think of Asperger's syndrome as a disability, I'm sure it doesn't affect you much. I have a cousin who has it, and he doesn't let it bother him.
    Last edited by Creepshow; Fri 23 Dec '05, 5:14pm.
    "CREEPSHOW CREEPS ONLINE" - The first & best online resource dead-icated to Stephen King & George A. Romero's 1982 horror anthology classic!!!!

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    • #3
      Nice to see you found a lovely family. Why not confront him and tell him how you feel.

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      • #4
        Nobody's perfect. It is obvious that your dad has made some really huge mistakes in his life and you have a right to feel angry.

        Still, people change all the time and maybe your Dad is changing too? He probably realises that he loves you (just the way you are) and wants to change the situation somehow.

        Let him... everybody deserves a second chance, especially people who are trying to change for the better.
        J de Silva
        GIDForums™ | GIDSearch™ | GIDNetwork™

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        • #5
          I don't want to give my Dad a second chance. He took away my Mum.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by KeithMcL
            Nice to see you found a lovely family. Why not confront him and tell him how you feel.
            Agreed, you might regret not attempting to do this when he's gone.

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            • #7
              Sorry to hear that. I hope your new stable family makes you happy

              I also agree it might be a good idea to tell him exactly how you feel. Better to get it off your chest, than keep dwelling on how you feel.

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              • #8
                I haven't talked to my dad in 13 years. He never even contacted me when my daughter Liz died a couple of years ago.

                Keep in mind that just because someone donates a sperm cell, that doesn't make him a Father.
                Steve Machol, former vBulletin Customer Support Manager (and NOT retired!)
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                Mankind is the only creature smart enough to know its own history, and dumb enough to ignore it.


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                • #9
                  Yeah, that's true. A father isn't just to donate a sperm cell, like Steve said. It's about caring for the child, fulfilling his needs, being there for him, etc. Some people call total strangers (or, unrelated people to their families) 'fathers' because they do what I said, instead of just donating a cell and leaving. Also, abusing a woman / especially the mother of your child (even abusing your own child!) is just messed up.

                  Good thing you donated that money to the charity. I wouldn't have been able to buy something with the money he 'gave' me, if my father was like that.

                  Also, Steve, that's sad. he didn't even say 'I'm sorry to hear that, son?' No nothing? Wow.

                  Ritterz, I'm glad you are now with a stable family. I'd much rather be with people that love me and care about me than some guy that abuses my mother or anything I dislike greatly.

                  Don't let that disability get to you man. Live your life, forget you even had a disability.

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                  • #10
                    I ignore Aspergs syndrome. Even though I have it as well (along with other disabilities). Isn't Aspergs that you function better then others?

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                    • #11
                      Aspergs syndrome, isn't all that bad. But my dad made it out that it was. Thanks for all your kind comments!

                      Steve. I'm sorry to hear that!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Steve Machol
                        Keep in mind that just because someone donates a sperm cell, that doesn't make him a Father.
                        Never looked at it that way before. Me and my dad have a great relationship, but I just think thats interesting what you said, as I know many who are like that..

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Steve Machol
                          I haven't talked to my dad in 13 years. He never even contacted me when my daughter Liz died a couple of years ago.

                          Keep in mind that just because someone donates a sperm cell, that doesn't make him a Father.
                          Sorry to hear that.

                          I see it differently: I have a father, but he isn't my Dad. Reasons I won't go into detail with, as it's an old story, but he lied about me ever existing, went off and married someone else while on station (he works for the Navy... think that's the branch)... bunch of other crap.

                          Grew up without him or a dad; always my mom and sister. Remembering wanting a male figure in my life, oh well... I'm just happy my mom didn't marry him after all and everthing.
                          Congratulations on the death of vBulletin, Internet Brands.

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                          • #14
                            RITTER don't even call that man YOUR DAD!

                            That man is a F**king IDIOT!
                            Arcade.gs Game Site!

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                            • #15
                              your 'father' just sent the biggest insult he could, even if he wasn't meaning to.

                              After all he's done to you and your family (and your future psycology) the LEAST he could do it VISIT to give you the card and TRY to be a father.

                              I really admire you giving that money away, that bit almost brought a tear to my eye.

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