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  • alcoholics

    well, i just back from "vacation" with my in-laws. my wife's dad is a bad alcoholic. she basically raised her parents and her siblings, while they drank and partied...when she was growing up. well, the idiots got drunk again and had to subject us to their special breed of self-pity. i really dislike drunks. when her dad drinks, it becomes a non-stop diatribe about how the world has wronged him and how he is the best dad in the world. and it goes on and on. what makes me so angry, is that my wife still rationalizes for them, and justifies for them. she needs to learn a little healthy hatrid.

  • #2
    Dealing with people, and friends/family around them, who have an addiction is always hard.

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    • #3
      I can't say this works for everyone, but simply not giving them the attention they want seems to work well for me. I've had friends get drunk night after night, then when I didn't call them up to hang out for a while, they got the point and eased up a bit.

      I know family can be a bit different, though if you can get your wife to do so, simply leave or let her know exactly how you feel and how it bothers you to see her rationalize with them.

      If I never said what I was feeling to a few people, I'd be in a whole mess of trouble .

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      • #4
        Originally posted by KingSpade
        I can't say this works for everyone, but simply not giving them the attention they want seems to work well for me. I've had friends get drunk night after night, then when I didn't call them up to hang out for a while, they got the point and eased up a bit.

        I know family can be a bit different, though if you can get your wife to do so, simply leave or let her know exactly how you feel and how it bothers you to see her rationalize with them.

        If I never said what I was feeling to a few people, I'd be in a whole mess of trouble .
        Oh you are absolutely right KingSpade. What gets me is at home we will discuss it like adults, and come to the "mutual" conclusion that neither of us wants to deal with their drunken b---s---. Then once we are in it, she will clean up after them, act like their drunken babbling is funny, justify the fights and arguments, and just play along in general. And then I am expected to play along like her entire family does. And I have a real problem with that because I tend to be the type of person who will let people know just how I feel about them... Anyway, you are very right. The problem in this situation is not her parents but her inability to stand up to them.

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        • #5
          Once she stands up once, she won't feel drawn back from doing so again, if need be. It's not always easy letting someone know just what's on your mind, but bottling it up is just as bad for you (or your wife in this case).

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          • #6
            Alcoholics really are hard to deal with. I lived with one last year and it was a constant battle. I use to get out of the house whenever he drank which was an obvious sign to him, but unfortunately it gave him more of a reason to drink. I was kind of clueless as to what to do because if I stayed and hung out, it seemed to him as if I was okay with his habit. If I left, he would get discouraged and do the same thing, but in a pissed off mood. Although it didn't fix the issue, the best solution I found was to talk to them while their sober. I wouldn't suggest tearing into them, but simply state that being drunk 7 nights a week is very unhealthy. If you tell them that when they're drunk, they'll probably throw a fit. Alcoholism is a serious issue though, and trying to deal with it as her fathers age is going to be difficult, regardless if he's drunk or not. You could possibly provide alternative methods or places of family gatherings.
            Trent Gillespie Mod Theater Gillespie Photography

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